Hanz "van Sherlock" Holmez wrote:
>The moment people started to take Kelton's funmail seriously I just *had*
>to weigh my SC E.Zuiko 135mm/F2.8 and my MC Zuiko 135mm/F2.8, and the
>results are shocking! The SC lens weighs 367 g, the MC version -- 351 g.
>The real shocker is that according to Olympus, this lens is supposed
>to weigh exactly 360 gram!
>
>So what's happening here? Is this Yet Another Conspiracy Theory?
>
>My Zuik bro's and ho's, this calls for an in-depth investigation!
(I must admit that our van Sherlock didn't really use exactly those
words to write the last sentence, but I think he won't mind :-))
After learning about Hanz's above shocking discovery, it took me only
a few minutes on the internet to figure this one out. According to
www.blackhelicopters.com, all Zuiko 135mm/f2.8 lenses were exported
from Japan to a rural airport in Mena, Arkansas. From there, they
were distributed to the rest of the world. The whole operation was
run by the late Vince Foster, on behalf of Bill and Hillary Clinton.
My source advises me that all the incoming lenses were identical in
weight: 360 g. While in Mena, the SC lenses were made a little
heavier because they were stuffed with shredded Rose law firm
documents, now missing from the Whitewater investigation (indeed,
"SC" stands for "Sinister Conspiracy"). So, if you own a SC 135/2.8,
expect a visit from Ken Starr's "dream team".
OTOH, the "MC" lenses came in with a clear coat of pure Columbian
cocain ("MC" stands for "Mucho Cocaino"). This cocain was removed
at Mena, and resold by the Clintons to the Hollywood moguls for
political campaign contributions. This explains these lenses'
extraordinary uhm, huh... weight loss?
My source is 100 percent sure of the veracity of these allegations.
In fact, he used to work as a security guard in the above Arkansas
facility, and claims to have witnessed the entire process. I was
able to verify that such a facility indeed existed at the time, and
was situated next door to the very Arkansas motel where then governor
Bill Clinton used to rape women and procreate with black ho's, on
weekdays and on certain weekends after church when Hillary had her
witch practice.
See, it all becomes crystal clear once you consult with the right
people, or more precisely, with the people on the right. :-)
P.S. To the humor impared, the above was a satire. It is not the
truth. It was written for entertainment purposes only. It is not
to be taken seriously or literally, and it is not to be taken out
of context. /G.S.
P.P.S. I wonder how long it'll be before this story appears on
Mutt Sludge's web site... :-) /G.S.
Cheers,
/Gary Schloss.
Studio City, California, USA
schloss@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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