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[OM] Re: Now seems to be car quality, was Broken DSLR - worth repairing?

Subject: [OM] Re: Now seems to be car quality, was Broken DSLR - worth repairing? - long
From: Larry <halpert@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 20 Dec 2007 01:35:12 -0500
Sounds like a crappy car, and in the usual vein of various biases, 
another review says this:

http://www.theautochannel.com/news/2005/03/28/022205.html

I wouldn't buy a new car anyway, so I have no idea whose assessment is 
closer.
 

Winsor Crosby wrote:
>
> This is the best and funniest auto review I have ever read and fits in  
> with the Ford theme.
>
>
> By Dan Neil
> LATimes.com
> December 8, 2004
> At a time of general excellence in automotive design and construction,  
> when even cheap cars so easily vault buyer expectations, it is a rare  
> and perverse pleasure to find a car as certifiably doggy as the  
> Mercury Montego.
>
> A car whose lack of charisma is so dense no light can escape its  
> surface, the Montego is the Mercury Division's upscale twin to the  
> Ford Five Hundred sedan, though the Montego's version of upscale is of  
> the Korean off-shore casino variety. The faux wood-grain interior trim  
> looks like it came off a prison lunch tray. I've felt better leather  
> upholstery on footballs.
>
> But this is not a case of a car nibbled to death by details. Overall,  
> the car has a profoundly geriatric feeling about it, like it was built  
> with a swollen prostate. To drive this car is to feel the icy hand of  
> death upon you, or at least the icy hand of Hertz, because it simply  
> screams rental.
>
> On paper, the Montego has much to recommend it, which would be fine if  
> cars were made of paper. A large four-door, five-seat car - cut  
> generously in the seat, you might say - the Montego has an enormous 21- 
> cubic-foot trunk. So right there it has cornered the traveling-carpet- 
> salesman market. Built on a corporate vehicle platform shared with  
> Volvo, the Montego and its blue-badged sibling Five-Hundred are  
> available with all-wheel-drive. Our test car, a premium model with  
> AWD, was equipped with a continuously variable transmission, a type of  
> fuel-saving gearless transmission that optimizes the engine speed for  
> maximum torque during hard acceleration and slips into overdrive when  
> demands lessen. Front-drive models come with a six-speed automatic.
>
> The premium package draws heavily from Ford's larder of convenience  
> items, including an eight-way, power-adjustable driver seat and four- 
> way adjustable front-passenger seat (both heated); Xenon headlights;  
> heated outside mirrors; two-position memorized settings for seats,  
> mirrors and the adjustable pedals; and a full suite of power  
> accessories. Missing in action are options for a navigation system and  
> stability control.
>
> It's abundant on paper. As a presence in steel and glass, the Montego  
> inflicts a gnawing sense of privation upon the driver. There is no  
> soul to this car, and it's about as sexy as going through your  
> mother's underwear drawer. Except for those who need the oversized  
> trunk to carry their assisted-mobility scooters, few could prefer this  
> car to its Asian rivals such as the Toyota Camry, Honda Accord V6 or  
> Nissan Maxima, never mind the products with upscale badges like Lexus  
> and Acura hovering in the $30,000 range.
>
> The trouble lies with the car's engine, a clattery 3.0-liter V6 whose  
> output of 203 horsepower is smothered by the car's two-ton curb  
> weight. Ordinarily, this power-to-weight ratio would not be out of  
> bounds, but Montego's AWD package is bundled with a torque-swallowing  
> CVT transmission, making the car logy from a standing start and  
> cruelly slow in passing situations.
>
> This torpor has a soundtrack. When you mash the gas the powertrain  
> moans as if you were raising dear departed Uncle Sal at a séance.
>
> The power train's lack of refinement so penetrates the driving  
> experience that it is hard to give the car a fair shake. It is not,  
> after all, a bad-looking car, though I prefer the more understated  
> look of the Five Hundred to that of the Montego, which has a face like  
> Mike Mulligan's steam shovel. The interior design is handsomely spare,  
> balanced and geometric. With its tasteful chrome bezel gauge cluster,  
> the instrument display is spot on; the steering wheel switches (audio  
> and cruise control) are well organized and substantial feeling.
>
> But what's the deal with the center stack controls? As I sit here now  
> I cannot think of any designed product that is as awesomely cheap- 
> looking as the audio and climate controls in this car. The stereo  
> controls comprise a big, ugly flank of black plastic with a green LED  
> display in the middle. It reminds me of the ham radio kits I put  
> together in high school. These controls are risible enough in the Ford  
> F-150 pickup, but here, in a "premium" automobile, they are quite  
> unforgivable. Ford owns Volvo and Mazda, two companies that do a fine  
> job with instrumentation design. Can Ford's guys get the notes from  
> somebody in class?
>
> The car's cushiony ride comes at the cost of any backbone in the  
> handling department. Significant body roll accumulates in corners, and  
> the car has a front-driver's pushiness. It was hard to feel any  
> handling benefits from the AWD system. The powertrain functions like  
> that of a front-drive car until significant slip occurs at the front  
> wheels. Then a mechanical differential distributes power to the rear  
> wheels. I will have to take Ford's word for it.
>
> Over and over, it's a car that fumbles the fundamentals. The seats,  
> for example. They are, first of all, big and flat and unsupportive, so  
> that despite eight ways to adjust it, the driver's seat never gets  
> comfortable. Meanwhile, this car was designed as a kind of sedan qua  
> SUV, offering drivers the high seating position and commanding  
> sightlines of a sport-utility while retaining the virtues of a sedan.  
> If you see one of these in a parking deck you will notice its roof  
> crests a couple inches higher than those of the cars around it.
>
> I have my doubts about this SUV-seating idea even in theory. In  
> practice, the seat's raised H point (hip point) puts the driver in an  
> awkwardly elevated position so that you never feel quite like you are  
> sitting in the car so much as sitting on it. The seat itself feels  
> like one of those extra-high hospital toilets. Where is the nurse call  
> button?
>
> These cars - the Five Hundred and the Montego - are intended to be  
> mainstream, high-volume products that will supplant the Taurus/Sable  
> twins, which remain in production at the moment. My question: Has Ford  
> ever seen the competition? They are gorillas and these cars are organ- 
> grinder monkeys with little hats. I'm trying to imagine the family- 
> sedan buyer making his way down Glendale's Brand Boulevard, test- 
> driving cars as he goes, and alighting on the Montego. I'm still trying.
>
> Ford has had an amazing year. The new Mustang. The Ford GT. Superb  
> redesigns of the Focus and F-150 families. Who would have thought the  
> mid-size sedan project would be so elusive? With all of Ford's global  
> resources, the most valuable of all is its collective judgment. As for  
> the Montego, I don't understand how this lamentable rentable got out  
> of the barn.
>
> *
>
> 2005 Mercury Montego Premier AWD
>
> Base price: $28,245
>
> Price as tested: $29,490
>
> Powertrain: 3.0-liter V6, dual-overhead cams; continuously variable  
> transmission; all-wheel drive with limited-slip front differential and  
> mechanical center differential.
>
> Horsepower: 203 at 5,750 rpm
>
> Torque: 207 pound-feet at 4,700 rpm
>
> Curb weight: 3,930 pounds
>
> 0-60 mph: 9 seconds
>
> Wheelbase: 112.9 inches
>
> Overall length: 200.4 inches
>
> EPA mileage: 20 miles per gallon city, 27 highway
>
> Final thoughts: Hipster-proof
>
> Automotive critic Dan Neil
>
> can be reached at dan.neil@xxxxxxxxxxx.
>
>
>
> Winsor
> Long Beach, CA
> USA
>
>
> On Dec 19, 2007, at 4:57 PM, Larry wrote:
>
>   
>> Judging an entire corporation on industrywide midcentury bad auto  
>> design
>> on the misfortunes of one of Fords worst cost saving designs being the
>> Capri, and you can miss out on some great stuff (though blissfully
>> unknowing this).
>>     
>
>
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