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RE: [OM] firing two winders(not much OM content)

Subject: RE: [OM] firing two winders(not much OM content)
From: Dave Bulger <dbulger@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 29 Jan 1999 18:42:57 -0600
<<  containing moving cars look well synchronized (if there not, it looks
 > pretty obvious when viewing in stereo). >
        Most humble apologies, that should have been "if they're not,...".

 We'll let you off with a warning this time, sir. Speak safely out there. 
 :op

 Sgt. Dave
 OM List Language Police
 Apostrophe Division
  >>
Memo to:  Sgt. Dave
From:   Sr. Investigator George S.
                OM List Language Police
                Parentheses Division.
Subj:   Apopstrophe abuse allegations

        Dear Sgt Dave;

                Thank you for bringing the investigation of apostrophe abuse to 
our
attention.
While we appreciate your efforts, we feel you have ended same prematurely,
with giving the offender, in effect, a slap on the wrist.
        There apparently is sufficient probable cause for the investigation to
continue.
I would also demand you hand over all of your files on this matter to my
division since we are asserting that we have ultimate jurisdiction in this
case, since the apostrophe abuse you are investigating, occurred inside a
parentheses that we are investigating under staute 35:2A-1(a)(1) 
-unauthorized
use of parenthetical punctuation, and as such would take precedence over 
your
investigation.
        Thank you for your anticipated cooperation

                 George S.
                Sr. Investigator
                OM List Police
                (office of Parentheses Prosecution)


LOL!!!!

Dear Sr. Investigator George S.,

We regret to inform you that while your department does indeed have 
ultimate jurisdiction in this case, I will have to turn the aforementioned 
files over to your successor.  It appears that you are under investigation 
by the Internal Affairs Division, Spelling Department.  Something about an 
alleged misspelling of the word "statute"...  While I am reasonably sure 
that you will be proved innocent of these charges, you must understand that 
the chief is more than a bit concerned about your objectivity in this 
matter.

Checking my post frantically for typos...

Sgt. Dave


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