Hi, Y'all-
I noticed this one on Snopes today. It's not brand new, and it's not written by
John Cleese.
It's fun to read anyway.
Thanks,
Steve Goss | MDI System Engineer | Cerner Corporation | Mobile: (816) 885-3259
| Fax: (816) 571-8560 | sgoss@xxxxxxxxxx | www.cerner.com
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-----Original Message-----
From: Rick Beckrich [mailto:rbeckrich@xxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Friday, August 30, 2013 3:45 PM
To: Olympus Camera Discussion
Subject: Re: [OM] [OT] John Cleese's analysis of recent events
As for me... I LOVED IT!
Rick
On Fri, Aug 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM, Jez Cunningham <jez@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> ALERTS TO THREATS
> IN 2013 EUROPE
>
> >From JOHN CLEESE
>
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in
> Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to
> "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to
> "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit
> Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
> Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody
> Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance"
> warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
>
>
> The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
> get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the
> reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for
> the last 300 years.
>
>
> The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
> terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
> France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by
> a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively
> paralyzing the country's military capability.
>
>
> Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
> to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
> "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
>
>
> The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful
> Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also
> have two higher
> levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
>
>
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
> threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..
>
>
> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
> These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
> navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
>
>
> Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
> to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
> "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and
> "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use
> of the last final escalation level.
>
>
> Regards,
> John Cleese ,
> British writer, actor and tall person
> --
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>
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