As for me... I LOVED IT!
Rick
On Fri, Aug 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM, Jez Cunningham <jez@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> ALERTS TO THREATS
> IN 2013 EUROPE
>
> >From JOHN CLEESE
>
> The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and
> have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
> though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A
> Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940
> when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from
> "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a
> "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish
> Armada.
>
>
> The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get
> the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they
> have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300
> years.
>
>
> The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror
> alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are
> "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire
> that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the
> country's military capability.
>
>
> Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to
> "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat
> Operations" and "Change Sides."
>
>
> The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to
> "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
> levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
>
>
> Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat
> they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..
>
>
> The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
> These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
> can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
>
>
> Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to
> "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I
> think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is
> cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final
> escalation level.
>
>
> Regards,
> John Cleese ,
> British writer, actor and tall person
> --
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>
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