Hi, Y'all-
Are you sure you have all those critters in Oz? I'm just now returning from two
weeks in Sydney. The only thing I saw was what my guide said was a Portuguese
Man O'War. It was just a small blue blob bobbing on the water as we kayaked by.
Thanks,
Steve Goss | MDI System Engineer | Cerner Corporation | Mobile: (816) 885-3259
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-----Original Message-----
From: Andrew Fildes [mailto:afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 3:21 AM
To: Olympus Camera Discussion
Subject: Re: [OM] IMG: Six film pics from Copenhagen
Mossies - yeah, the size of a small Cessna.
Snakes - you don't ever want to meet a Taipan or King Brown - none of that
pussy rattling warning nonsense.
Spiders - Sydney Funnel Web is aggressive and kills fast. Redback hides under
outdoor toilet seats and really gives you the sh*ts. Huntsman is non-venemous
but gets you in a headlock and chews you a bit.
Sand Bur? We have tiny Sand Flies that will go straight through a flyscreen and
bite the crap out of you.
Ticks - big fat ones designed to bite through reptile scales and potentially
deadly to humans and dogs.
Scorpions - they're around but we don't worry much about them - the rest of the
critters are much worse.
Beer - it doesn't keep the flies off but after a while, you don't care.
Hats - made from rabbit felt. If something tries to bite you, offer your hat.
It'll give you a fighting chance. Most good hats are sweat stained and have a
few tooth holes in them.
Grass fires - move faster than a man can run so you run back through them. Bush
fires are a serious problem. I've heard that prayer or booze dulls the worry -
or both.
Train tracks - across the Nullabor Desert - longest straight run in the world
and then there's one curve - one.
Belching - see beer.
Beans - are for vegans. We eat steak and damper (look it up).
Fire ants - don't have. We have bull ants - bull for bulldog 'cos they don't
let go. About two inches long and assertive. First time I met one I thought I'd
stood on a red hot needle. Then there are the slightly smaller meat ants -
guess why they're called that. Killed a nest of them once - it took several
litres of diesel.
Self what? What dya mean? You looking for a stoush?
You forgot -
Lizards - Parenti get up to two metres and move fast. They'll go you. Goannas
aren't quite as big but if they panic, they run up the nearest tall object -
usually a tree but in the Nullabor (no-tree) it could be you. The big sharp
claws hurt as they dig into your hat.
Saltwater Crocs (they would eat an alligator).
- note: do not try the hat trick. Take a dog with you. They prefer dog to human.
Sea wasps and Irkandji - large and small jellyfish that cause agony so intense
that it can kill.
Sharks, various. Been a few deaths by Great White this year.
Stonefish and Cone Shells - lethal.
Blue-ringed Octopus - equally so.
Summary - stay out of the water.
There's a reason that most of us cower in coastal cities - it's bloody scary
out there.
Now if any of the above is expressed in an unfamiliar vernacular, check with
Bazza O. - he just dropped in for a day and a bit on his way to Bali (planning
a piss-up in Kuta Beach no doubt) and learned a bit of the local lingo. Mangled
it a bit, but.
Andrew Fildes
afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
On 18/11/2011, at 2:03 PM, WayneS wrote:
> I'm sure everything in OZ could put a Texan to shame. skiters, snakes,
> spiders, sand burs, ticks, scorpions, beer, hats, grass fires, train tracks,
> belching, beans, farts, fire ants, and self aggrandizement.
--
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