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[OM] (OT) The Milk Conspiracy (was: Professional Associations)

Subject: [OM] (OT) The Milk Conspiracy (was: Professional Associations)
From: Marc Lawrence <montsnmags@xxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:36:46 +1000
Andrew Fildes wrote:
> I'm proudly unhomogenised and organic - and that's what I drink too.
> I know that there's no such word but homogenisation is so ubiquitous  
> nowadays (even when spelt with an 's') that the real and natural has  
> become abnormal. When exactly did milk turn into medicine? And why?

The local (well, "hinterland) Maleny Dairy sells unhomogenised milk in 
the Coles down the bottom of the street. I keep going to buy it, but 
Peter goes through his "It's got bugs in it" script (Me: "That's not how 
homogenisation works"; Peter: "Well they wouldn't do it if it wasn't for 
a good reason"...and so on). I've nearly convinced him to try it though. 
If only they sold it in 3 litre containers...

To answer your question, milk turned into a "medicine" when Walt Disney 
got together with the CIA, MI5, ASIO (ASIO staff are the ones always 
sent out to get everyone coffee), the International Dairy Board and the 
extraterrestrials that have bunkered down for secrecy under the 
Antarctic ice, to create a mind-control and pacifying "medicine" that 
could be self-administered unwittingly by a global population. This is 
part of the reason why when you take photos (which were once processed 
by your friendly, neighbourhood government stooge/processing lab, but 
are now automatically transmitted via the interwebs, bluetooth and wifi 
to a central repository), you automatically ask your subjects to say 
"Cheese" - it triggers the endorphin and morphine pump at the top of 
your spine to momentarily relax you enough that the photos can later be 
interpreted by body language and facial expression experts for 
undesirable self-motivation. Alas, American is under the sway of the 
hypnotic trigger of the "Got milk?" campaign, which means their 
pacification has reached such a degree that they are the prime source 
of, and most vulnerable to the evils of, "reality television". It also 
causes them to be increasingly hostile to France and to the French 
rebels who fight the "'isation' of milk at all times always knowing the 
price of failure.

Anyway, I've said too much. I can see the "Dairy Farmers Re-education 
Truck" coming up the hill, so I've got to run. Remember, dare to 
un-dairy, cut the cheese, give the curds away, and don't keep lettin 
them slip the secret pasteurise.

Cheers,
Marc ("lactose intolerance" as a mission; not just an affliction)
Noosa Heads, Oz

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