LOL :^)
I'm pasting below something I feel related to this:
Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai
To give a person one's opinion and correct his faults is an important thing.
It is compassionate and comes first in matters of service.
But the way of doing this is extremely difficult.
To discover the good and bad points of a person is an easy thing, and to
give an opinion concerning them is easy, too.
For the most part, people think that they are being kind by saying the
things that others find distasteful or difficult to say.
But if it is not received well, they think that there is nothing more to be
done.
This is completely worthless. It is the same as brining shame to a person by
slandering him.
It is nothing more than getting it off one's chest.
To give a person an opinion one must first judge well whether that person is
of the disposition to receive it or not.
One must become close with him and make sure that he continually trusts
one's word.
Approach subjects that are dear to him, seek the best way to speak and to be
well understood.
Judge the occasion, and determine whether it is better by letter or at the
time of leave-taking.
Praise his good points and use every device to encourage him, perhaps by
talking about one's own faults without touching on his, but so that they
will occur to him.
Have him receive this in the way that a man would drink water when his
throat is dry, and it will be an opinion that will correct faults.
This is extremely difficult.
If a person's fault is a habit of some years prior, by and large it won't be
remedied.
I have had this experience myself. To be intimate with one's comrades,
correcting each other's faults, and being of one mind to be of use to the
master is the great compassion of a retainer.
By bringing shame to a person, how could one expect to make him a better
man?
on 9/04/2005 14:22, Chris Barker at ftog@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, wrote:
> So, you're in love, and will not be deterred from your goal! ;-)
>
> Chris
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