* NEWS FLASH *
The residents of the city of Melbourne, Australia, are still in shock
after the fatva issued upon their fellow resident Frank Ernens.
Yesterday, Frank Bin Lindert, residing in The Netherlands, one of the
most prominent and wealthy members of the publicly unknown OM-cult
exclaimed that "the pedantic troublemaker is in my kill-file now (just
hope that works!)". Earlier this week, Mr. Ernens has made disparaging
public claims regarding the OM4T camera, which is among the most sacred
fetishes of the OM-cult.
While the experts from various photographic magazines claim that the
OM-cult is "effectively dead" or "just an uninfluential nostalgic bunch
of fanatics", the local authorities are taking the matter seriously. "We
are carefully monitoring the developments", the Melbourne Chief of
Police said at the press briefing today. "Mr. Ernens was immediately
offered to switch his camera system by several large camera
manufacturers and is considering their offers". He refused to comment
the claims of several Melbourne newspapers that immediately after
releasing the news, they received several anonymous calls inquiring if
there was any reward promised or if at least the travel expenses would
be covered.
The OM-cult seems to originate in the early seventies, but so far it was
thought it has perished completely. "Not really", we have heard from a
source within the FBI on condition of anonymity. "We have been closely
watching their activity recently and while their number is not big, they
are spread throughout the world. They seem to be extremely well
organized and are even using the Internet for communication and
spreading of their fanatical ideas". It also seems that the influence of
the cult on its members is devastating. "While the ideology of the cult
is very difficult to understand", our source said, "it does force its
followers to get as many fetishes of their religion, OMs and Zuikos, as
possible. This ultimately leads them into big financial trouble and
conflicts within their families".
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