I'm a pretty trusting guy. I believe in helping those who need help
and all that. I also believe that it can be used as a teaching tool
for those who are working on their trustworthiness. Honestly, it all
works out in a positive manner most, (if not half, sometimes less), of
the time. This one one of those cases where I'm not quite sure how low
to rank it.
It's too easy to go through life judging others. As my wife pastors a
church, we have to take a very different stance on this. No judging
allowed. Sizing a person up? Absolutely! But that's different. We have
to be a judge of character for multiple reasons--child safety being a
big concern, for example.
So, a gentleman, who was a bit down on his luck (unemployed, freshly
divorced, health issues, etc., etc., etc.), was interested in learning
more about photography. I worked with him a bit, but the big limiting
factor for him was no camera. As I've got more cameras than I can
justify, I loaned him my Minolta A1. A couple weeks later, he pretty
much disappears. The next contact from him is from jail where he's
trying to get $150 for bail. (we did know where he was the whole time,
though--this town isn't very big).
Yes, this is going downhill fast.
After spending some time talking with him and explaining why we don't
have $150 laying around to bail him out, I encouraged him to walk the
three blocks to church. "No excuse, bud, you CAN do this".
A few weeks pass and he is still a no-show. Rumor has it that he's
going to be moving out of state. Ugh. Time to act.
So, I call him up and let him know that I'm selling some cameras and I
need the A1 back. Not to leave him in a total lurch, I told him that I
do have another one that he can just have. So, a $10 yard-sale camera
became the trading card to get my camera back. Honestly, I haven't
even looked at it yet. Haven't had time. But he said everything was in
the bag, so I'll just have to trust him on it and that it's still
operational.
Once in a while, you can help somebody by being part of that trigger
that changes a person's life. But not always. There are times when you
have to recognize when somebody isn't ready to change. Honestly, the
camera doesn't matter, nor does the $10 swap it cost me to get the A1
back. Had he underwent a recognizable change in his life, I would have
just given him the camera. When I loaned it to him, I really had no
expectation of ever getting it back. But he underwent no change. His
words did not adequately reflect his deeds.
I learned many years ago that I cannot "rescue" people. I helped this
individual in multiple ways, not just photography. No bitterness
involved, just the recognition that success is not always dependant
upon your own actions and deeds. Like I said, it comes with the
territory of what my wife and I do. But part of that territory is
knowing our boundaries AND when to send in the hounds.
AG
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