> Warning: AG-style stream-of-consciousness post ahead:
Bob, I'm happy that I'm able to contribute to the freedom of being
able to write long ramblings and rumblings on this list. Don't feel
foolish--I'll run interference for you with my even longer pointless
ramblings and rumblings to make yours seem well directed and "normal".
Consider yours to be like mine, only Moosified.
I'm finding several things in common with you. Fortunately, I haven't
had the same stresses as you in regards to Ben. There was a period of
more than a few years where my wife was going through severe health
issues which involved at least one surgury a year and the threat of
her mortality and the spector of raising two daughters without her.
I'm very thankful that those health issues settled down and she's
healthy. Yet, the emotional and financial impact weighs on for years
and years. This is something you live with every day and even though
you've adapted, it is a stress you have managed, not conquered.
We both have another thing in common. We both work hard at a day job
and in our own business. About three years ago, I reached a point of
burnout with the professional photography and after three unprofitable
weddings, I decided to chill on it. I raised the rates, stopped
promoting and let things coast back down where I could manage life
again. There was also a lot of job insecurity too. I'm running
full-throttle these days between my job and helping my wife at the
church. No time for anything photographic except for the odd job here
and there. Brutal. Also, before we moved to Grinnell, I shutdown the
B&W lab. That turned out to be a mistake on a personal level, but a
great decision from a time sump perspective.
There comes a point where what you really enjoy doing becomes far too
much work. It is no longer enjoyable. It is a burden, not a blessing.
It sounds like you are there. Just as you going to close down a
gallery and regroup, I'm doing the same with my some of my own
photographic interests.
Inotherwords I'm right with you on this.
The obese kit situation is another aspect which I find rather
interesting in the parallels to my own life. Just like you, I'm toting
around about 30 pounds of gear when I'm going on a serious shoot. I'm
not happy about it at all. For me, the problem is the duality of
systems (film/digital). In all honesty, I don't really enjoy shooting
digital most of the time. Nothing wrong with it, but from an artistic
happiness perspective, I find it sucks. Whatever I can do, somebody
else is doing better. It's an unending warfare of who has the best
camera/lens/photoshop-plugins.
Personally, I'm happiest toting a couple OM bodies and a half-dozen
lenses around. My artistic expression is most satisfied and
"production" declines, but personal satisfaction in the work goes up.
In the end, I'm making about the same kind of money, but with much
less hassle.
We can use the exampe of Bill (NSURIT) Barber and focus on the arts.
I'm not suggesting getting an MFA too, but what I am saying is what is
most important to you? Selling wall coverings or creating art? On our
death beds, which will we look back on and regret? It can go to
extremes, though, so that's not what I'm suggesting that you throw
everything out and try your hand at making bronze sculptures of body
parts.
So, what is the next step? There are times when wholesale changes are
required. Times when only portions need changing and times when only
tweeks are necessary. I believe you are somewhere in the middle. Minor
tweeks won't address the underlying dissatisfaction. Would having an
assistant address the concerns and leave you free to work on the
creative arts side while the sales and printing side is handled by the
assistant? This might work. But then again, it could sink you. Do you
chop off everything at the knees and start over? I would do that ONLY
if you've reached a point where you are ready to totally reinvent
yourself and kill any synergies that are currently at your disposal.
I read the key statement from you where you are shooting what you know
will sell. This is not artistic expression, this is production. You
might as well shoot weddings and make real money.
There is more to life than "production". Yet, every successful artist
knows that it's 10% art, 90% promotion/sales.
AG (pointless rambler) Schnozz
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