Walt's personal gallery is at:
http://home.att.net/~hiwayman/wsb/html/view.cgi-photos.html-.html
I hope you'll enjoy these as much as I enjoyed digging them up.
Apologies for its length.
2000:
* "I may be stirring up another heated controversy, but if so, then
let’s get it on."
* "I don’t sweat some scumbag grabbing my gear. I’ll let him (or
them) hold a couple of Black Talons for their trouble. Happy
shooting, everyone!"
* "m. bachofen says, 'I _do_ own an SUV, and a liberal.' Does the
liberal wash the SUV? I thought slavery was still illegal."
2002:
* "I haven't posted much lately, mostly because there's been nothing
under discussion of real interest to me or regarding which I had a
relevant contribution -- too much digital crap."
* "Luddites unite! If we want to contemplate something fuzzy, we can
just check out the lint in our navels. Out-of-focus lint probably has
a wonderful bokeh. Maybe next we can take up toe jam bouquet."
* On filters: "... panty hose, depending on the tint, can provide the
same effect as a warming filter, then can be used as a mask while
holding up the local liquor store to get money to buy more OM gear."
* "... my answer was the essence of simplicity AND was correct: Just
look through the damn thing!"
* "I need to go set my Santa Claus trap. This year I intend to
finally catch the old bugger. I'm getting really tired of those
reindeer crapping on the roof."
* "I've got a gun and a digital camera. I'm not allowed to talk
about one and I don't want to talk about the other. So, let me just
wish everyone a happy and safe holiday season."
* "I might someday end up with one of those proctoscope thingys that
keep showing up on eBay. How would I ever explain that to the lady
of the house?"
* "We have four kids, and most of them have turned out fairly well in
spite of us... but -- sob -- there's the N*k*n nincompoop... He's
always looking through the viewfinder of whatever OM I happen to let
him get close to, and then a strange gleam comes into his eyes, which
I take to mean, 'I wonder what's in your will. Do I get this stuff
when you croak?'"
* "You can intertwine your fingers? What a lucky old fart you are!"
* "Justice? What's that got to do with anything? Yes, the notion of
justice is a noble concept, but it often has little connection with
what comes out of the legal system. Remember, these are decisions
being made by a dozen folks too stupid to get out of jury duty."
* "OM content: I have some of that stuff."
* "Call it a sickness, if you choose, but I don't have any interest
in being cured, thank you."
2003:
* On number of megapixels: "When y'all get this all figured out and
decide on the exact number of angels dancing on the head of whatever
pin you have in mind, let me know. I'll be in the darkroom."
* "I do love the smell of Dektol in the morning."
* On photo editing: "The truth is, people are just plain sneaky
sometimes. Keep your eyes open. Many, many things are not as they
seem."
* "... you have to be extra careful not to get on eBay drunk. Causes
mysterious boxes to arrive a few days later."
* "I think I ought to go have a lie down before I do something rash.
Someone needs to hide my credit cards. Talk me down before I leap!"
* On buying a digital camera: "As I have heard said a few hundred
times during my 30-plus years in the criminal justice system, it
seemed like a good idea at the time."
* "... there's no substitute for cubic inches when it comes to cars,
there's no substitute for big guide numbers when it comes to flashes."
* "Now my forehead hurts from the mandatory self-admonishment that
comes with the realization that there are a couple of major
differences between OM-3s and OM-4s. I flunked big time what's
probably the first test in the remedial course 'Mechanical Shutter
101.'"
* "Like the coal miner in the middle, we all need to go home for
lunch every once in a while so we can stay in the pink."
* "'What do people with glasses prefer?' Keeping them full. Of
course, the alternative is to just drink right out of the bottle."
* On musical taste: "Who are these 'Beatles' y'all keep going on
about? Did they work for Volkswagen?"
* "Some might think I'm a Zuikoholic, but that's simply not true. I
could get rid of all of them if I really wanted to. I just don't
want to, so that means it's a rational decision, not an illness, that
prevents me from parting with even one precious."
* "Both of our evil, environmentally-unfriendly, gas-guzzling SUVs
are automatics. It's easier to run over little runty econobox
thingys when you don't have to shift gears; the screams of the
occupants can be distracting."
* "Good Grief, John, does this mean you don't believe there REALLY
are mutant, cow-sized scorpions in the desert over there?"
* "I plan on using my stuff at least another 20 years. If I go
before my 11-year-younger wife, that's her problem. When she stops
celebrating, she can sell my stuff on eBay for a song. I doubt I'll
much care."
* "Ya turns the knobs, ya composes da picture, ya trips the shutter.
Life is good."
* "Yeah, your favorite SUV-driving, gun-toting, meat-eating, whisky-
drinking, anti-government, libertarian, agnostic, Zuikoholic, if-they-
have-no-smoking-areas-why-can't-they-have-no-children-areas, if-your-
dog-craps-in-my-yard-I'll-stick-it-in-your-ear asshole may be
mellowing ever so slightly with age. So, maybe I'll renew my Sierra
Club membership. Or maybe not."
* On role of government: "Pave the roads, watch the borders, and
leave me the hell alone."
* "Poor people fight with sticks, knives, or maybe even guns. Only
the rich can fight with mean lawyers... they're going to be paying me
$55 per hour to listen to something I might actually pay them to
hear. Then I'll retire and put all the OMs to good use!"
* "I think Olympus has missed the boat. Actually, I don't think
they've even got a cab waiting to take them to the dock."
* "One thing baseball did that I don't think playing piano would have
done: I got a full four-year athletic scholarship to the University
of Tennessee, where I learned many things, among them that I couldn't
hit a real curveball. I played good bench, though, and wore my
uniform quite well."
* "I may be wrong, but I'm not uncertain."
* "Any lens whose performance isn't degraded by having even the best
filter on it isn't worth protecting."
* "When it comes to macro photography and windy days, my solution is
quite simple: I find something else to do."
* "I can't whistle worth a hoot. Never learned. But I've got a
hotrod 1954 Chevy pickup truck with a horn that plays Dixie. Am I a
redneck or what?"
* "I answer to many opprobrious appelations, most of which I have
earned through many years of effort."
* "We who use epoxy tend to stick together."
* "I think I'm going to shut up for the night now. I've about
exhausted my knowledge and have run smack dab out of opinions. Think
I'll have another cold one."
* "... the idiots of the United States Postal Service returned the
mailer with the unprocessed film to me today... It's a shame their
job is so complicated and confusing, requiring the reading of the
English language at maybe a fourth grade level. Perhaps their lips
get tired."
* "I guess I'm just not the hand-wringing, scaredy-cat type when it
comes to futzing with the gear. So far, so good."
* " I keep being forced to learn new things, whether I want to or not."
* "I never claimed to be organizized."
* "It has been my observation over the years that flaws and blemishes
in lenses seen to affect photographers a whole lot more than they
affect photographs."
* "Bottom line: When it comes to lenses, we'd all be better off
spending more time looking through them rather than looking in them
or at them."
* "The signs at national park entrances warn that it is illegal to
pick vegetation or to feed animals. I have on more than one occasion
found myself wondering what might happen if one picked some
vegetation and fed it to an animal. Do they cancel out? Or would
you be shot?"
* "'(Old English majors never die, they just keep annoying
people... :-)' And where, exactly, is it you keep these annoying
people?"
* "Is it something that happens only in France, like surrendering?"
* "Of course, this is just my opinion. And I have many."
* "I know I sometimes express myself a bit aggressively, but that
comes from long years of experience in the court system that have
taught me that tact and decorum are, as often as not, merely preludes
to the eventual and inevitable fisticuffs, and that speaking plainly
right up front is usually the best way to avoid bloodshed."
* "I promise you and everyone else that I shall try my best to be
less obnoxious henceforth. I'm not betting any of my OM stuff on the
prospects of my becoming Mr. Congeniality of 2003, but I will make an
effort. Sort of. Sometimes. "
* "Those aren't noises of distress. Those peeps you're hearing are
cheers of delight that new batteries are being installed. Not even
the tiniest of computers wants to have to sing "Daisy, Daisy" very,
very slowly."
* "It is well known that this position relaxes the tension on the
veeblesfetzer, thereby reducing the stain on the furshluggner,
avoiding a possible misalignment of the potzerbie, which condition
can result in discomboobulation of the ether."
* "Though there's really no such entity, I have a corporate American
Express card in the name of Widdershins & Deasil. I pay the bill, so
they don't care."
* "Incidentally, since I actually do practice what I preach, at least
sometimes, I'm feeling a little less hypocritical now."
* "... my photographs go pretty much unseen, and that suits me just
fine. I know how great they are. :-)"
* "Yes, I know I'm ignurnt. But even us what ain't all that smart
gets to a-wonderin' and a-ponderin' ever oncet in a while."
* "I smoked 2+ packs a day for 40+ years... My last cigarette was on
February 15, 1995, at 2:15 p.m., and I enjoyed every puff... Then
came the oral cancer in 1999, a result, I am told, of 40+ years of
smoking, plus three or four years ignoring the symptoms. The surgery
was most unpleasant, particularly since I had to endure five days of
hospitalization when I was unable to speak a word because of all the
crap in my mouth. Being a very verbal sort, that was all but
unbearable. I couldn't write on my little board fast enough to
express one tenth of my contempt for the entire process. The Demerol
was nice, though! :-)"
* "I never knew smoking was such a stinky habit, having grown up in a
houseful of smokers and having had smoking friends and wives most of
my life. But now I can drive down the street behind someone who is
smoking in their car with their windows down, and, even if my windows
are rolled up and the air conditioner is on, I can smell it."
* "... if I make to 80, I'm going to start smoking again. My wife
says I may."
* "As a stockholder in, and long-time customer of, the Acme
Manufacturing Company, whose slogan, 'A solution for every problem,'
is known worldwide, we are proud that epoxy is one of our best
selling products, just slightly behind rocket-powered skates and
magnetic bird seed, and we highly recommend its use as a solution to
many problems, but only in the hands of the discriminating and
skilled. Others should seek an alternative -- preferably, a
professional one."
* "I'm proud to say that I have never spent a penny in a Starbucks,
or any place like it, and don't intend to."
* "... after reading some of the traffic that clogged my mailbox
while I was gone, I now realize there's a lot of noodlers and dorks
and nerds on this -- oops, did I write that out loud? Sorry. S**t, I
said I was tired. Let me rephrase that: The members of this list are
the most intelligent, literate and perceptive people of any camera
group with which I share a common interest and with which I am
regularly affiliated, and I hold every single one of you in the
highest esteem and have for each of you the greatest respect, and I
appreciate, and save to CD, every word you write. Yeah, like, really!"
* "I don't think your lefty leanings and gentle persuasions
disqualify you from practicing curmudgeonism. Just like I don't
think the fact that I'm an SUV-driving Southern good ol' boy and life
member of the National Rifle Association, with a permit to carry a
concealed weapon, which I do occasionally, makes me a total right
wing nut. If I were one of those, then most of Bush's judicial
nominees (like that Ten Commandments fool from Alabama) and our
overly superstitious jerk of an attorney general, Asscroft, who
deservedly lost an election to a dead man, wouldn't scare me half as
much as they do. And they're not the only ones."
* "... all this spam is a serious problem, and it's starting to get
to me. I find myself occasionally actually considering enlarging my
penis, refinancing the house, buying a few years' supply of
pharmaceuticals -- Viagra, Xanax, Prosac and the like -- then getting
myself one of those sizzling Russian ladies who are so eager to
emigrate. I'm not real sure how my wife will take it, but assuming I
can get the right assortment of prescription drugs, I think that may
turn out not to be much of a problem at all."
* "He had a screw up, which I can understand, since I myself am only
nearly perfect and, I am told, have had a couple myself."
* On categorizing eBay listings: "I know several of you will disagree
right to the edge of a conniption with some of my observations and
opinions. But before you get your Fruit of the Looms in a total wad,
remember, this is my list. You can make your own. Yours will
probably be just as illogical and ridiculous to me as mine is to
you. And if you make a list of your own, or feel an irresistible,
uncontrollable urge to rebut mine or refute my observations, kindly
leave my mother out of it."
* "The Borg are puny compared to the enablers on this list! What
shall I tell the CDFO? What must I do? Why do I listen to you people?"
* "Counting the propane torch, I've got five or six devices of
various power with which to solder stuff together. And I bet I could
find at least two of 'em in less than an hour. Finding the solder
may take longer."
* "A lifetime of being married, off and on, has taught me that it's
usually easier to get forgiveness than to obtain permission."
* "Drive at 100 MPH in any direction for 10 miles with the windows
down. If you manage to survive this in a Ford pickup, the odor you
will have created involuntarily while doing so will overwhelm and
make totally inoffensive the smell of the mothballs."
* "New batteries and a tiny bit of percussive maintenance war all
that she needed."
* "Yes, I love cheese, and some sharp cheddar with my whine will be
okay."
* "After a couple of days eating these things, anything I emit may be
either, or both, loud or a load."
* "You can only take a few hundred shots of fireworks, though, before
they all start to look alike, so enjoy it while you can."
* "I've re-installed the software, but to no avail. There's some sort
of TWAIN problem. Hell, he's dead! Maybe that's the problem. I
once read both "Tom Sawyer" and "Huckleberry Finn," but what's that
got to do with this? Do I need a raft? Am I up the river without a
paddle?... I'm out of single malt, so it's just some JW red right now."
* "This stuff has probably been sitting in a big, brown truck cooking
for five or six days in the summer heat... It's in the fridge now,
right behind the Miller Geunine Draft, one of which I had to remove
to make room. Don't want it to get all warm again, and since it's
nearly noon here anyway, what the hell?"
* "I hate Hummers. Generally, they are owned and driven by jerks,
like Arnold, who couldn't find their ass in the woods with a
flashlight."
* "... speaking of Bushes, I don't like him much either. And it's
mainly because of his environmental record. Go figure."
2005:
* On the Macintosh: "Probably going to be a niche thing, used by a
tiny minority of kooks and nuts and wierdos who dress strangely,
mutter under their breath in an incomprehensible language to
imaginary companions while meandering seemingly aimlessly down the
street -- kind of like those strange and bizarre people still
clinging to their old OM cameras and Zuiko lenses."
* "Considering what the current administration of neocon nuts and
corporate toadies, flunkies and tools of the tax-dodging wealthy are
doing to the environment, I doubt that daily aerial spraying of
Kodak's total output of undiluted D-76, Dektol, Indicator Stop Bath,
and Kodafix would make any significant difference, and actually might
be beneficial in washing off some of the more harmful crap from
hundreds of other sources. I have been putting my bare hands into
photo chemicals for 50 years without apparent harm, and I believe
anything you can stick a finger in that doesn't bite you can't be too
dangerous."
* "I'll go back to pen and paper before I try to write more than a
line or two using a laptop keyboard."
* "I don't chase much of anything anymore; I sit and hope it comes to
me."
* "... one of the most useful accessories for this camera might well
be a shovel, as in: haul the thing to an idyllic spot full of
wildflowers, set it up on a sturdy tripod right behind the SUV, which
can act as a windbreak, then take the shovel, stroll about looking
for something photogenic within less than 500 yards, dig it up, bring
it back, and fire away... And I can always take the best stuff home
to plant in the yard -- but only where it's legal, of course."
* "I simply smirk and annoy the overly-righteous with the Darwin fish
on the back of the SUV, which is right between the NRA Life Member
decal and a Confederate flag. Confuses the hell out of them."
* "I believe this fellow's explanation of f-stops, et al., because...
He agrees with me, and that alone is reason enough to accept what he
says as being absolutely true and correct. :-)"
* "Morons who think 'bellows' is plural and advertise that the
'bellow' is in good condition make me want to bellow 'Illiterate
Retard' right into their one good stupid ear."
* "Maybe there's a lot of truth in the old saying that ignorance is
bliss. Could that be why I'm a happy camper most of the time?"
* On megapixels: ""Did Rembrandt count the bristles in his brushes?"
* "I've got a large scotch in one hand and a poker to stir the fire
with in the other. The weather guessers are predicting an ice storm
here tonight. Let 'er come! I'm in and done. If the power goes
off, I've got firewood, propane (and accessories), a generator, four
cats, and a warm wife."
* "I'm pretty sure the current guv'mint believes that letting us
watch anything more intellectually challenging than Fox News, "Fear
Factor" and "Wife Swap" will make us all go crazy, take to the
streets and demand our country back."
* On long exposures: "One of my pet peeves (for which I have a
collar, a leash, a license, and a winter coat) is folks who try to
turn running water into milk."
* "I'm not sure whether I should be insulted or ashamed, so I think
I'll just be smug."
* "I thought I had been more perniciously and pertinaciously
persuasive than this!"
* On photo editing: "'You took off the man's hand! Have you no
decency?' I did no such thing! Do you take me for a monster? I
simply put his left hand in his coat pocket, like his right hand
was. Since it was a bit chilly, I thought he'd be more comfortable
that way... That was the last thing I did, and I debated over it
with myself until one of us had too much to drink, got abusive, and
the other abandoned the argument, so the man lost his hand."
* "That's my excuse for some of the sloppiness -- sort of like
painting the ceiling in a closet; if anyone wants to look too
closely, they deserve to see something ugly."
* "Maybe you're made of sterner stuff than I am and more able to
resist temptation from the dark side, but beware: this group has an
insidiously coercive power to corrupt. I didn't think they'd get me,
drag me over, but they did. Oh, the shame, the shame!"
* "I've got some cloning, cropping, dodging, layering and burning in
to do. I'm making a composite of ex-wives' best parts."
* "He [Hunter Thompson] was one of a kind, and it's too bad we aren't
making that kind anymore. Much too dangerous and subversive to suit
the rabid scum we've turned government over to."
* "I know it's spelled 'chrome' and not 'crome.' I can spell. I
just can't proofread."
* "So, why am I going after another medium format outfit? If I knew,
I would tell you. Maybe it's got something to do with quality.
Maybe I'm just a stupid old retro fart. Maybe I'm insane. Betcha,
though, if I live long enough, I'll still be using all this stuff
when rats are gnawing on E-1s at the landfill."
* "... if my car were as reliable as my computer and my wife as
dependable as my ISP, I'd be living alone with a horse in the back
yard."
* "If there ain't a reason to use a filter, then there ain't a reason
to use a filter."
* "... for the 10 months or so the piece of s**t lasted before it
slowly quit playing anything at all. The warranty was worthless. I
threw it in the back yard and shot it just for grins a couple of
times with a .44 magnum, just like the late HST [Hunter S. Thompson]
would've done, then sent if off to Mt. Trashmore."
* "Real music still comes on viny."
2007:
* "... try folding up and packing your dead wife's clothes to send
off to Goodwill or the Starvation Army. Nearly every piece brings
back a memory of when she wore it and probably has a teardrop or two
on it. I guess maybe they won't mind."
* "December is a tough month too. My mother was a Christmas fanatic,
big tree and decorations everywhere, and then my grandmother died the
day before Christmas in 1965, and she never cared about it again."
* "My mother was one of the world's most organized people. We used to
joke that if Dad got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the
night, his side of the bed would be made up when he came back. So,
when she died, everything was pre-arranged, even her funeral, casket
and all, and the estate was taken care of in one visit to her
lawyer's office. Strangely, I'm the exact opposite. Some traits
aren't inherited, I guess."
* "It's a very light oil, and I don't hesitate to put it on pretty
much anything that needs some lubrication. Well, not quite
everything. ;-)"
* "5 or 10 percent of the folks in this country are alive today only
because it's illegal to shoot them."
* "I'm just dangerous with a computer, the Internet, and three credit
cards."
* "... every time I pick up a piece of the OM gear and think about
parting with it, I caress it and put it back in the cabinet,
promising to use it again one day."
* "Like my grandmother used to say, when you have to get over
something, you've got to let the calendar go all the way around."
* "Retirement is something I highly recommend... There's got to be
some reward for working you ass/arse off for 40 years. And I don't
hit a lick at anything that I don't want to do."
* "... peaking of pretty, my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue
arrived day before yesterday, so I've seen lots of "pretty" lately. I
sure as hell don't compare."
* "I stay from doctors every chance I get. After all the malpractice
cases I heard, I know they can kill you."
* "This digital stuff has certainly screwed up the camera industry. I
almost wish it had never happened. But then I pick up my E-1 and am
happy again."
* "... without even looking, I'll tell you I've got over 35 lenses
for my OMs, and except for one Phoenix, one Carl Zeiss Jena, and
three Tamrons -- which I recommend -- and a Celestron 1250mm f/10
Schmidt Cassegrain, they're all Zuikos. You do the best when you get
the best."
* "Medication as needed -- beer in the morning, vodka in the
afternoon, maybe a dram of good scotch late at night."
* "I tend to stay away from places where I can't 'tote,' so you'd
certainly be safe from folks like me in Connecticut or New York City."
* "Hell, maybe I'm becoming my mother. When she got older, she used
to fret over everything, would go to the mailbox, find a bill, run
back in the house, immediately write a check, then put the return
envelope back in the box. I've seen her stand in the garage, tapping
her foot, watching for the paper because it was a half hour late. Is
that how I'm going to end up?"
* "Should I go to the Leica list to ask? I've heard they're mostly a
bunch of assholes. Of course, I'm sure most of you would say I would
fit right in."
* "It confuses some people, but I'm a gun-toting, gas-guzzling SUV
and hot rod driving liberal who will cuss you out and try to kick
your ass if you piss me off and would shoot you if it came to that.
It's possible. I know at least two more like me. And we're all fairly
grumpy, as I guess you can tell just from me."
* "Considered becoming a Libertarian, but then soon saw they were
mean and selfish on some issues that concerned me. It ain't all about
just yourself."
* On universal health care: "Once upon a time, I might have disagreed
with you, but not now. I think anybody who's ill and needs a doctor
ought to be able to see one."
* "Glad Al Gore's film, 'An Inconvenient Truth,' won the best
documenatry award. This is something we all need to think more about.
Sorry I'm not doing better. I'll try to do more."
* "Is this bunch great, or what? Love the List! We can fight, then
make up and forget it."
* "... despite driving an SUV, a 300HP sports car, and a 500HP hotrod
50's replica pickup truck, I don't think it would hurt to clean
things up a little and quit putting so much crap in the air and
water. I've done my bit by just letting the leaves lie in the yard
and keeping the lawnmower in the out-back barn. :-)"
* "I live in the woods, and I've been letting the trees take over for
more than 30 years. I've got more square feet of carpet in the living
room than I've got grass in the yard. Does that make me a tree-hugger?"
* "Damn, I'm getting old and feeble. I went out in the yard with the
Leica and laid down to take some backlit shots of daffodils starting
to bloom... I used to do this kind of stuff 20 times or more a day
shooting Oly macro and then just spring right back up, but this time,
I wasn't sure but what I'd have to crawl back into the house. It's
getting so hard to get up off the ground, so maybe I'll try to stay
upright hereafter, until I go to the Hereafter."
* On bad weather coming: "With apologies to Jimmy Buffet for stealing
some of his lyrics, but some really nasty stuff is heading this way.
I'm going to strap on my Glock, hang the Leica around my neck, make
sure my wallet is in my hip pocket and get ready to go to the basement."
* "Organized people are just too lazy to look for stuff."
* "... part of being disorganized, in addition to getting old, is the
joy of discovery."
* "I grew up in the foothills of the Smoky Mountains, on the banks of
the Little Tennesse River, about a stone's throw and a half from
Gatlinburg, Tennessee. My grandaddy was a part-time moonshiner,
besides being a retired tobacco auctioneer, hardware store owner, and
cattle and tobacco farmer. I get my weirdness by inheritance and
experience. He was a small man, about 5'7", but nobody would mess
with him, because he had a reputation. He would tell anybody who got
in his face, 'You don't halfway know who you're foolin' with.' And
they didn't 'fool' with him. I've still got his Colt pistol and his
double-barrel Parker shotgun."
* "I've stopped being nice to telephone solicitors, and I have a
fierce and colorful vocabulary, which I have little hesitation to
employ."
* "I have cancelled the [credit] card, just on principle. I've got
too many of those damn things anyway. They attract Leicas and such."
* "One of my many ex-wives did telephone surveys for years, genuine
surveys, not selling anything, just getting folks' opinions on
various things for clients who paid her fairly well. And she was good
at it. So, as a result, I don't have any problem with those people.
I'll take five or ten minutes to answer the questions for them. I'm
always more than willing to express my opinion on anything, as I
guess some of you may have noticed."
* "I figure the phone is like the doorbell: if I ain't in the mood, I
ain't answering. There's no law against ignoring intrusions."
* "I've always liked the contradiction of the NOS thing, because it
means "new old stock," meaning it may be 65 years old, but it ain't
been used yet. Sort of like I'm feeling right now."
* "It's not lust, just affection and the acquisition urge. And didn't
Gollum become the leader to Mordor? Maybe that's what I'm becoming.
Just don't tie a rope 'round my neck and drag me along."
* "Another pet peeve of mine. I've got too many of those things
anyway, so I'm working on getting over it."
* "I was amused that my wife, who was almost as smart as me, didn't
realize for years that every time we went out, I was heeled, so I'm
sure nobody else can tell either."
* "I've been calling it Wall-of-China-Mart. I don't go there."
* "Why are the French off limits? Was Inspector Clouseau a
documentary? We Southerners have endured years of derision from such
crap as 'The Beverly Hillbillies' and any number of other idiotic
movies and TV shows foisted on us by the left-coast Hollyweird
people. That entitles me to make fun of anybody I want to, whether
it's right or wrong."
* "... as... Bobby Lee Cook (obviously named for the great Gen.
Robert E. Lee) used to say, a murder trial, regardless of the
circumstances, simply comes down to 'Did the decedent deserve
killing, and did the right person kill him?' Over the course of many
years and many murder trials, I have come to agree."
* "I'm basically opposed to the death penalty, but in some cases,
maybe it's deserved."
* "There was a local dairy -- Mathis, I think it was -- that made raw
cheese. It was wonderful. I wish they still did, but I think they've
quit. Probably got sued by some jerk who didn't store it properly and
got sick."
* "For a couple of years, when I was about 11 or 12 years old, a
friend, Tommy Greene, and I used to ride our bicycles, pulling our
little Radio Flyer wagons with a rope, to the local dump to dig out
returnable bottles, which had a 2-cent value each. Bought us a lot of
comic books and candy. Not sure if either benefited us much, but we
felt like entrepreneurs."
* "As a genuine, certified curmudgeon, let me say that I have very
few opinions, but I do make and express many observations. Opinions
are things often reached without reason and based mostly on emotion,
and I try not to do that. And that's my opinion -- er, observation."
* "Just print your own [certification]. I can make a diploma that
would make a Harvard graduate proud. Curmudgeons are allowed to
certify and license themselves."
* "Somebody needs to make some computer version of Roundup for Norton."
* "I slipped and fell a few days ago in a pile of dry leaves, but I
protected the Leica; it came to no harm. Fortunately, neither did I,
at least not that I noticed, but maybe I injured by typing thingy."
* "Most all my ties were ("are," since I haven't pitched them out
yet) funny, or at least strange. I figured, since I was expected to
wear one, it might as well be one that suited my personality and
weird sense of humor and that amused me. I've collected some goodies.
There were occasions when certain people came to my office just to
see if I had a new funny tie. There have been times lawyers have
stopped in mid-question when they suddenly realized what was on the
tie I was wearing in the courtroom. Fortunately, the two judges I
worked with both were almost as strange as I am and didn't care a bit
what kind of tie I wore. :-)"
* "How do I dust off the sensor in my Leica M6? Oh, that's right!
Never mind. It gets a fresh and clean one every time the motor drive
goes "whirr." :-)"
* "One of my pet peeves -- I have many -- was people, mostly police
officers, who, when referring to the identification of automobiles,
called it the 'VIN number.' The 'N' in 'VIN' stands for number, so we
don't need it twice. But, then, these are the same people who never
get out of their car and walk up to a car they've stopped and talk to
the driver; they say, 'I exited my vehicle and approached the
subject's vehicle and engaged in conversation with its occupant.'
Give me a frigging break!"
* "I haven't voted since I made the mistake of voting for the Bushy
one the first time, but if Fred runs, I'll go get registered to vote
again and work for him."
* "I've come to the conclusion that some of my typos are the fault of
my turning on the Google spill chucker, which I'm turning off now. I
know I teype the wright thang and thin it gits changed to sumthing
elus."
* "There's a certain pleasure and satisfaction that comes from
standing in the darkroom, feeling the bottom edge of the film for the
notches, making sure it's on the bottom right, and loading the film
holders in total darkness."
* "The bathroom off the hall has no window and a large amount of
counter space, and I sealed up the door frame with sticky-backed felt
from the hardware store so that it's now light-tight, so I just do it
in there. I can agitate the film in the developer every 30 seconds,
as you're supposed to do, while sitting on the crapper and reading
the newspaper, killing more than two birds with one stone."
* "... the most irritating thing was hauling ass through the
mountains, which I was good at, having grown up and driven in them
since I was about 13, and coming up behind some flatlander, usually
with a Florida tag, who was scared of ups and downs and curves and
just crept along. Caused me almost to resort to gunfire a couple of
times."
* "'Momentarily' really means 'When I'm damn good and ready.' At
least that's how I use it."
* "I'm a devoted, dedicated and loyal Confederate, a distant relative
of Gen. Nathan Bedford Forrest, and my great grandfather wore the
grey, and I've got his 1861 Colt pistol, but I've long been an
admirer of Ulysses S. Grant. I just finished reading another
biography, "Grant," by William S. McFeely. Gen. Robert E. Lee was a
more genteel and honorable man, but Grant came in a close second,
except for the fact his bunch won the war."
* "I've got a Confederate battle flag hanging in my office at home,
but I don't drive around with Confederate regalia on any of my three
cars. No point in agitating folks unnecessarily, even if you are
heavily armed."
* "It was an unnecessary war. Slavery was dying out anyway. Probably
90 percent of the soldiers in the Confederate armies never owned a
slave; they just felt they were defending their homes."
* "There once was, for a short time only, in Tennessee one of the
stupidest signs ever made by a road along a river that sometimes
overflowed its banks. It said, 'If this sign is underwater this road
is impassable.' I think I have a picture of if somewhere."
* "'Re: Part-time female photographers' What is a part-time female
the rest of the time?"
* "The very notion of selling your children, even in jest, to Canon
is ridiculous. You would get a lot more for them on eBay. If it had
existed when mine were young, at least one of them would've been long
gone."
* "My great-grandfather killed two pillaging Yankee soldiers on the
front porch of the old house I grew up in and buried them somewhere
nearby, I was told by my grandmother. I spent half my childhood
digging holes to find them. Never did."
* "Like my grandfather said, 'Don't go poking around into your family
history because you're likely to find something bad.'"
* "I've just been a bit under the weather for the last week -- some
intermittent vertigo and a lack of appetite. I feel a little weak,
and I haven't had anything to say that would be relevant to anything
I've seen lately."
:::: The affluenter you are the freelier you can go to the more
better places. -- Walt Wayman ::::
:::: Jan Steinman http://www.EcoReality.org ::::
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