On 19/05/2007, at 3:21 AM, Gary Holder (c) wrote:
> For me, and I believe as usually is the case for most others,
> the CPAP was for snoring/probable obstructive sleep apnea; not for
> TMJ. I
> hated CPAP, largely because I could barely tell what was going on
> and had no
> choice in it--I know many love it.
Each Sleeping Breath
They are all watching while I sleep.
No paranoid fantasy this; to forestall death
The sensors, traces, cameras will keep
A record of each movement and each breath,
Or lack. Supine upon a slightly softened slab
I wear a Gorgon’s halo of fine cable
And each twitching turn or starting grab
For air is data to this desperate tangle;
Each respiratory caesura, for it now transpires
As I have suspected for so many restless years,
I do not so much sleep as struggle to acquire
The air. Each night a journey into fear
And each morning a new exhaustion
Robs me of my well-earned sense of rest.
And so the night’s inadequate oblivion
Is the simple reason for this test.
No dreams remembered for how can I dream,
One vivid fundamental act of rest, of wonder
When my mind is trapped here in a room
With a choking chainsaw, angry partner.
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