Bridezilla, GroomMothra and Kid Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All Out Attack!!!
At some point every wedding photographer will eventually experience the
"Giant Monsters All Out Attack" with not only Bridezilla to contend with,
but GroomMothra and Kid Ghidorah as well . . .
It all started on a sultry evening, just after sunset. Seems like it was
yesterday, and yet it seems like it was eons ago too. The bride and groom
interview is intended to document details about a wedding including such
mundane, but very important data, such as wedding and reception location
and when the ceremony is scheduled to begin. It also includes size of
bridal party, how many parents and grandparents are planning to
attend. Finally, it moves on to a review of the standard "must have"
photographs and any special requests.
It was then I should have declined the booking, referred them a list of
several other local photographers who could "better serve their needs," and
accomplished two goals simultaneously: prevent suffering the "Giant
Monsters All Out Attack" and wreak havoc with a competitor. Although
subtle, the signposts were all there. But that was not to be. Damn the
torpedoes, full speed ahead! The interview was "sans groom." Not that
common but not that rare either. Her "special request" list of candids in
addition to the "standard" fare of photographs? That was the signpost,
nay, billboard I missed:
GETTING READY
# Photo of church
# Close-up of church sign with our names
# Bridal dress hanging on hook
# Bridal veil hanging on hook
# Bridesmaids doing bride's hair and makeup
# Bride and bridesmaids getting dressed, applying makeup
# Mom helping bride with one last detail, such as veil
# Grandmother pinning heirloom necklace onto bride's bodice
# Full-length shot of bride in gown checking herself out in mirror
# Close-up of train
# Close-up of shoes
# Close-up of garter
# Close-up of "something borrowed"
# Close-up of "something blue"
# Close-up of bride's bouquet
# Close-up of maid-of-honor's bouquet
# Close-up of bridesmaid's bouquet
# Touching photo of bride with parents
# Touching photo of bride with grandparents
# Touching photo of bride with brothers and sisters
# Bride hugging maid of honor
# Candid of bride with bridesmaids
# Candid of bride with all the women
# Groom getting ready with groomsmen
# Touching photo of groom with parents
# Touching photo of groom with sibling(s)
# Candid of groom with his arm affectionately around best man
# Candid of groom with all the groomsmen
# Close-up of grooms boutonniere
# Close-up of best man's boutonniere
# Close-up of groomsman's boutonniere
# Close-up of usher's boutonniere
# Groom and groomsmen putting on bow ties
# Groomsmen putting on boutonnieres
# Groomsmen and bridesmaids decorating our car
# Close-up of "Just Married" sign on car
# Close-ups of all the other car decorations
# Intimate photos of bride chatting with/crying with/hugging parents
and siblings pre-ceremony
# Intimate photos of bride and groom chatting with/crying with/hugging
parents and siblings pre-ceremony
# Dad whispering last-minute advice to groom
# Groom ready to go
# Bride ready to go
CEREMONY
# Attaching decorations to the ends of the pews
# Guests streaming into church
# Guests signing guestbook
# Close-up of our wedding service bulletin
# Ushers escorting guests to their seats
# Usher lighting the altar candles
# Aunt Hilda playing pre-ceremony music on her zither
# Usher unrolling white runner down aisle
# Touching Close-up of groom waiting for ceremony
# Touching close-up of bride and father waiting for ceremony
# Close-up of church steeple clock just before the wedding ceremony begins
# Close-up of bride just before she makes her entrance
# Mothers lighting their tapers on unity candle table
# Father and bride hugging before handing off bride to groom
# Wide shot of congregation during ceremony, from bride and groom's
point of view
# Uncle Harry reading the scripture passage
# Cousin Zelda singing our wedding song
# Close-up of flower handoff from bride to maid of honor
# Close-up of of bride's and groom's faces as they exchange vows
# Close-up of ring hand-off from best man to groom
# Close-up of ring hand-off from maid of honor to bride
# Close-up of bride's and groom's hands as they exchange rings
# Maid of honor rearranging train
# Groom lifting veil (just before The Kiss)
POST-CEREMONY
# Bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with parents
# Bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with grandparents
# Bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with brothers and sisters
# Groom assiting bride into limo
# Bride and groom seated in limo
# Back of limo as bride and groom leave the church
RECEPTION
# Photo of reception hall
# Close-up of reception hall sign with our names
# Close-up of place cards
# Close-up of guest book
# Close-up of guest book pen
# Close-up of centerpieces
# Close-ups of decorations
# Close-up of table setting
# Close-up of napkins with our names
# Close-up of favors table
# Close-up of champagne glasses
# Close-up of champagne bottle
# Bridal party laughing and joking while waiting to enter reception hall
# Receiving-line: bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with
parents
# Receiving-line: bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with
grandparents
# Receiving-line: bride and groom hugging, laughing, and crying with
brothers and sisters
# Close-ups of food on buffet table
# Parents' table
# Guests' tables
# Bride's and groom's parents whispering to each other during dinner
# Bride's and groom's grandparents whispering to each other during dinner
# Parents dancing together
# Grandparents dancing together
# "Portrait" of DJ while he's working
# Bride laughing with bridesmaids
# Groom joking with groomsmen
# Cake table
# Cake top
# Bridesmaids admiring cake
# Cake chef with cake
# Dessert table
# Bride and groom leaving, waving from getaway car's backseat
# Rear of car departing
Why did I miss this signpost? Because I try to do about three-fourths of
all these anyway, or at least something similar, even if it's not a
"close-up" and even if they're not "laughing and crying" or "joking." The
architecturals could be done before beginning the "getting ready" shots,
and a few the next day if necessary, including the clock. The rest would
be easy to remember, especially getting close-ups of all the objects at
their wedding; anything that will have their fingerprints, or those of
their bridal party and guests on them. I'd be busy, plenty busy, but
nothing impossible.
The only possible issue that would modify my planning was the church's
photography policy. I asked bride after perusing her list, "What is the
church's photography policy regarding flash and working around the bridal
party during the ceremony?" Her reply: "No problem; do whatever you need
to get the photos." Took this at face value that this represented the
church's policy. Then I inquire, "Are there any services before or after
your wedding?" Another benign reply, "Nothing beforehand, but there is an
evening church service at 6:30 PM." Now I'm doing the mental math: 4:00
PM ceremony; ends at 4:30-4:40 since it's not a High Mass; church empties
by 5:00; we'll have until about 6:00 to vacate; need about 45
minutes. We're good on time-line; no problem, but we cannot waste much
with dawdling.
Several weeks pass and then everyone's at the rehearsal the night before
The Big Day. I go to the rehearsals whenever possible to get a feel for
the flow. Little did I know what surprises awaited me there!
To be continued . . .
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