Heard this from my father-in-law today:
A man had a terrible problem with gas, both the loud sound and the smell.
His wife, in desperation, told him, "some day you are going to push all
your guts out doing that!"
The morning before Thanksgiving, as she was downstairs preparing the
Turkey, she heard him again, still in bed. It didn't bother him, didn't
even wake him. She had suffered enough! In a moment of weakness, she
grabbed all the offals she had just removed from the turkey, and marched
upstairs. She grabbed his underwear and stuffed the intestines into
them. Then she marched back down the stairs.
A little while later her husband sheepishly came down the stairs.
He exclaimed, "you were right, it finally had done some damage. But it
really wasn't as bad as you thought."
Then he added, " the worst part was pushing them back in again with my two
fingers." :-)
Gregg
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