In a message dated 8/18/01 6:37:08 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
tscales@xxxxxxxxxxxxx writes:
> snip
> honestly I think we all got a little carried away with our beating up on
> Oben.
I don't. An insensitive bully deserves whatever consequences he reaps.
Repeated polite requests to knock it off were met with increasingly hostile
and offensive replies. I would have preferred the final on-list warning to
be "You're acting like a jerk" (not as personal as "You're an asshole"). But
that's just my style.
> His first comments were a little mean, but he didn't lose it until he
> got hundreds of fairly mean spirited emails from all of us -- me included.
He lost it with me when he posted the offensive joke. My polite but blunt
request (offlist) to clean up his act or take it to his "other" list was met
with denial, anger, and childish putdown. I reminded him that some of the
readers of the list may be juveniles, and that the list is made up of a mix
of cultures from all over the world, to which one should be sensitive. I
never called him names. And like you, Tom, I complimented him for his
positive contributions, in the hope that he would "get it". He never did.
> He actually, when on-topic, was a good contributor.
Agreed. I hope he's now "digesting" all that was said to him, and even if a
little of it "takes", he'll perhaps be a more sensitive fellow in future
interactions with others. But I'm not too optimistic about that. I think he
was too busy "defending" himself to register the list's responses to him.
Too much deep-seated anger and paranoia. Oben's coping mechanisms have
apparently worked for him enough times in life that he's not about to give
them up without a major crisis. I predict he'll find that major crisis
before very long (get hell beat out of him, lose his medical license, or wake
up in prison). Sometimes, people have to find themselves face down in the
ditch of life to "get it". Some never do. And yes, I speak from personal
experience here.
Rich
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