At 10:04 AM 7/11/01 -0400, John Pendley wrote:
Wonderful! This really has promise. Are there other Bulwer Lytton winners
that I have missed?
Oh yes. This year's crop appears to have a preponderance of Canadians
winning the prize for the bes... er, worst writing. Here's a couple of
samples:
From Vancouver legal secretary Sera Kirk (overall 'winner'):
"A small assortment of astonishingly loud brass instruments raced each
other lustily to the respective ends of their distinct musical choices as
the gates flew open to release a torrent of tawny fur comprised of angry
yapping bullets that nipped at Desdemona's ankles, causing her to reflect
once again (as blood filled her sneakers and she fought her way through the
panicking crowd) that the annual Running of the Pomeranians in
Liechtenstein was a stupid idea."
From Nicolas Juzda of Toronto, 'Fantasy' category:
"When the mightily-hewn warrior-hero Glark One-Ear, fed up with paying the
tribute demanded by the despotic wizard Jormed-the-Doubly-Soulless, set out
to single-handedly unite the warring barbarian tribes of Verfot and lead
them in bloodily overthrowing the evil mage's tyranny, he envisioned a
progressive tax system based upon income brackets, yet allowing deductions
for business expenses, dependents, and charitable donations."
From Bob Wakulich, of Cranbrook, B.C., 'Adventure' category:
"If it weren't for the knee-high sewage lapping at his dress pants and the
confused terrorist spraying automatic gunfire over his head between loud,
emotional outbursts in a language that sounded like someone choking on
gravel, Johnson could see little reason to change his mind about the wisdom
of registering at a two-star hotel."
I love my fellow country-folk. ;-)
Garth
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