Dear Fellow Zuiks/Zuikettes:
It's been a while since I posted to the OLY list. In fact, since
my move from the Movie Capital of the World (Los Angeles) to the
Entertainment Capital of the World (Las Vegas), I've been lurking
in the shadows of "olympus-digest", and was rather enjoying my
semi-retirement from the former duties as the OLY Court Jester.
(Very appropriate, as Vegas is also a _Retirement_ Capital of the
World for every "Has Been" you can possibly imagine.)
Well, after this long hiatus, and with Vegas having worked its
dubious magic on me, I've been quietly planning my triumphant
comeback. Of course, the official excuses would be: (a) the OLY
list has become dull without me - a BIG FAT LIE !; and (b) my
numerous fans pleaded and begged, and urged me to return to full
participation - yet another BIG FAT LIE (But then, no one really
wants truth in entertainment, right? Otherwise Washington, DC
and Hollywood would be in deep yoghurt... Uh, uhm, you say they
already are? Oh well, never mind!).
Sooo, I've been busy practicing my daily verbal pas-deux-deux's,
my spell checker has been recently de-Quayle'd, and my legendary
tutu is back from laundry, freshly starched and as erect as Bob
Dole on Viagra. In short, I even started interviewing the cast
of the Rockettes for "Court Jester Intern" positions -- that's
how close I was to opening night. But, not just yet...
So here I sit peacefully in front of my Mac, relaxed, sipping my
soothing herbal beverage, and am dutifully reading the OLY list
digests from last week that have piled up like the mega jackpot that
nobody ever wins, and are dangerously close to clogging my mailbox.
(Man, oh man! Does anyone on this list actually work for a living?)
Well, imagine my shock, SHOCK!!!, when I stumble upon the following:
>
>Gary Schloss... shameless... commercial... cunning... disguised
>plugs... new ploys...
>
Indeed! Oh, boy. And that's from a friend!! Give me a minute to
me remove that 12-inch knife from my back. Aaah, nice blade! Is
that champagne colored metal titanium? You know, I have a camera
in exactly the same color! Oops, but I digress ... sooo sooorry!
So, why was the former Prima Ballerina of the OLY list vilified and
depicted as this shyster, Shylock, "The Merchant of Vegas", huh ?
When did this transformation take place? Is someone re-writing
history? And what's next: the Euro was a great idea, and the French
won World War II? Jeez, you go away for a few short months, and
when you come back, what do you find? Sod_OM and G_OM_orrah !!!
(See? That's called: "obligatory OM content" :-) :-))
I am outraged! OUTRAGED!!! And I demand to set the record straight.
Each one of my past sale events on this list had absolutely nothing
to do with commerce. Indeed, my very memorable and highly successful
"Bastille Day Sale" in 1998 had only one purpose: to raise funds for
the study of possible treatments of guillotine "injuries". And my
other sales were also in pursuit of similarly noble causes.
Now that I got this off my chest, I feel sooo much better. Don't you?
Well, back to my e-crib. Next time, I'll contribute something with
real OM content -- I promise.
With my apologies to all the OLY list "rookies" who are, no doubt,
scratching their heads: what the @#%$*& is he talking about? Oh
well, I guess you had to be there...
Cheers, everyone,
/Gary Schloss.
schloss@xxxxxxxxxxx
Las Vegas, Nevada, USA
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